Tiki-taka is dead.

Real Madrid dancing on Tiki-taka's grave - Allianz Area, 29th April 2014

We were told it's the most beautiful way to play, adored by pundits and fans the world over, as it appeared to be the flick-of-a-wand that magicked Spain's fairy tale happy endings at three international tournaments in a row, as well as supplying Barcelona's domination of La Liga, the Champions League, and of course most importantly, possession.

And we all believed it, at least for a little while. I for one found my self applauding the amount of passes the likes of Busquets were completing, according to Sky Sports' graphics with a little 'courtesy of OptaStats' in the corner. But why? What's so 'beautiful' about various dark haired Spaniards rolling a ball sideways and backwards to each other around two thirds of a football pitch? Was Tiki-taka ever really the breathtaking phenom that drooling pundits such as Redknapp, Neville and random BBC World Cup guests Adebayor and Seedorf made it out to be? I'm starting to think it was just a fancy name for 'pass and move.'

World Cup Song Blueprint

Unless John Barnes gets back in the booth, it really will be another four years of hurt.

Fours years of waiting and excruciatingly boring qualifying and tedious 'battle for plane seats to Brazil friendly matches' are almost over, the World Cup, "The Greatest Show on Earth", is set to return. And if you don't agree that it is in fact, the most brilliant sporting exhibition carried out on our planet, you're probably dangerously insane and think the Super Bowl deserves such a title, or if not even the Super Bowl you must be literally completely-bonkers-pissing-in-yours-socks-and-throwing-them-at-traffic-on-your-way-to-Tesco-to-yell-profanities-at-the-cabbages-mental, and would argue that 'Wrestlemania' deserves such a title.

The overwhelming excitement and even optimism of those sane ones among us, is every time, attempted to be captured by the music industry, and regurgitated into a pop song, more frequently known as 'The World Cup Song' or even a 'Euro's Song' depending on which tournament England are preparing not to be embarrassed whilst taking part in. Barring a rare few (see below), these 2-3 minute-long abundances of noise are usually the demented brain child of people more concerned about making money and selling awful music than England having success at a major tournament, and the result is often a revoltingly cheesy, barely even catchy, Euro-Pop disaster with the odd crowd noise or referee whistle. So, enjoy the rare few which don't abide to this description, before I disgrace some of the worst England World Cup (or Euro's) Songs ever to leave a studio, which should've consulted the "Successful Football Song Blueprint."

Unforgettable Forgettable XI: Volume 1

One of my favourite things about my brain is how it absorbs almost all football related information, like some kind of Encyclopedaeic sponge*.

*Encyclopedaeic Sponge (noun)

Abstract metaphor to describe the way in which someone or something contains a vast amount of information, gained by simply existing.

It's this somewhat underwhelming party trick (or super power if you will), that has allowed me to recall so many footballers that many people prefer/try to forget.

Here's some starting elevens made up of players most fans forget, whether it be due to a short spell at the club, not living up to their 'wonderkid' billing or 'world class potential', or maybe it's because they were complete and utter dog shit...

Dog shit.

...ooh or maybe they got sacked after snorting coke. (Adrian Mutu.)

20 Minutes in Dreamland.

Photo taken 20 very good minutes after the initial perfect 20 minutes.

The phrase "from the off" must've been the running theme in Brendan Rodgers' pre-match team talk, likely to have been complimented by the clapping of his hands and nodding of his head, as he turns to each corner of the Anfield dressing room, repeating the three-word phrase.

Football Hipster.

I hear you say; "who, what and where are Football Hipsters?"

Firstly, learn to ask questions more clearly, you've moulded three questions into one there and I don't know where to start answering, however I'll do my best.

"And all the runs, Kinkladze makes are blinding..." Noel and Liam supported Man City before it was 'cool.' Before Aguero, there was Shaun Goater.

...and it's well over the bar, always rising.

Once you've figured out, appreciated, and exhaled a laugh at the clever title of this, my new blog, you may read on.

My name is Greg Stanley, I'm 19 years old and currently taking a 'year out', in between studying at college, and studying at University. But within this year I have not been, nor will I be, 'finding myself' whilst rebuilding schools in Central Africa, or 'working abroad' to gain valuable life experience and skills, I won't even be selling my soul to work full-time, pretending to be an adult in a brain-numbing occupation to save up money for Uni.

In fact, instead of any of that nonsense discussed in my earlier, wordier sentence, I'll pretty much just be watching football and talking about it, and occasionally getting paid for it, which is essentially my aspiration in life. (Except with the 'occasionally' becoming 'always' and the phrase 'a lot of money' dividing the words 'paid' and 'for.')

So please, keep an eye on my blog whether it grows like Roberto Martinez's reputation, or fades away day by like David Moyes' reputation.